You've seen What We're Not Writing... Now, whether you're a WGA member or a sympathizer with too much free time, let The Man know what you're not writing during the strike. E-mail us at, and we'll post it here:

"Inside the Actor's Studio Apartment"

A spin off where a young James Lipton wanna-be interviews the (potential) stars of tomorow in thier often cramped living quarters as they struggle to make it big.

...not written by Mike Bernier

"The Bridges of LA County"

Real life brothers Jeff, Beau and Todd Bridges play brothers who run "Bridges to Technology" an organization devoted to the promotion of effective uses of ICT technology in the developing world, all the while trying to keep love, life and family together in the hectic San Fernando Valley.

...not written by Jacott

"The REAL Monkeys"

A reality show. It stars ... me! I'm the manager of a rock band. I recruit four chimpanzees to play in the band. Each chimp has a very melodramatic back story. I do my best to teach them to play instruments. We go on tour, playing small rock clubs across the US of A. Backstage, I give the chimps lots of pep talks and raise false hopes that we're going to SXSW, and then we're gonna tour Europe and Japan. Also, there's lots of scenes of the boys flinging their monkey excrement at posters of Peter Tork, Michael Nesmith, Davey Jones, and the other guy. Because those dudes are not the REAL Monkeys. I am pitching the show to MTV and Animal Planet, and hoping to arrange an unprecedented deal where it gets shown on both networks.

...not written by Dave B.

"The Twist"

Beehive hairdos, Chubby Checker, and the con of a lifetime!    In this feature film set in 1960, two grifters try to fix the results of a dance contest at a summer resort in the Poconos.  The double- and triple- crosses mount until finally it is revealed that the belligerent crook is really an undercover FBI agent, the naive girl from Iowa was in on it from the very beginning, and the conspiracy reaches all the way to the White House. Or, rather, it would have, had everything not actually taken place inside the deranged mind of the camp’s entertainment director.

...not written by J.R. Romanko

"#28 Sassy Lane"

A dramedy that would have been "Melrose Place" meets some sort of African-American version of "Melrose Place." Would have featured Jackée Harry, Tyra Banks, and the ghost of Nell Carter as self-assured, smart-mouthed tenants competing for the affections of a hot young apartment manager (played by either 50 Cent or Sidney Poitier).

...not written by John Huss

“Short Term”

A horticulture student, who has undergone a new and controversial shock treatment for his addiction to home made meth, battles each week to remember to…

...not written by Donna F. Smith

"The Nights and Nights of Molly Dodd"

Hardcore pornography. Because while I'm not actually writing porn during the strike, I am watching a lot of it. Plus, I think we might actually be able to get Blair Brown, and exploit this whole cougar moment in the culture. This time Blair plays a quick-witted, feisty liberal NYT columnist. Who loves to do it. At night. And only at night.

...not written by Joel Stein

"I Think I Heard 'Eskimo'...No?....I'm Pretty Sure I Did"

Pre-scripted improv show.

...not written by J.R. Romanko


(Movie poster: Marlon & Sean Wayans, in basketball uniforms AND black robber-style ski masks, flipped up so we can see their faces.) They couldn't make it as basketball players, so now they gotta rob banks. The slogan on the poster is: "I call bank!"

...not written by Dan Fybel & Rich Rinaldi

"My Big Fat Puerto-Rican Ass"

Hoping to cash in on the phenomenal box-office success of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - producers are developing a sequel. An offer is out to Jennifer Lopez to star. The producers 2nd choice - Charo.

...not written by Wayne Conley

"Keepin' It Zipped!"

This PG-rated feature provides the antidote to the raunchy sex comedies Hollywood markets to our impressionable youth. The film follows the three most attractive, promiscuous, and spiritually bankrupt graduates of Rancho Pacifico High--and their sidekick Pudge--as summer ends and the temptations of college life lie just around the corner. After a particularly dissatisfying night of (offscreen) debauchery, the boys realize they have just 48 hours to find the perfect prayer group, sign an abstinence pledge, and reclaim their virginity before the fall semester begins. (Parental warning: some viewers may be offended by the character of Pudge, who utters several mild oaths, and is Jewish.)

...not written by J.R. Romanko

"Think Tank"

(Movie poster: a goldfish in a fishbowl...but he's wearing eyeglasses!) Either the fish comedically foils a terrorist plot OR he's a tougher than nails history professor at Harvard.

...not written by Dan Fybel & Rich Rinaldi

"Dreck, The Third"

Groundbreaking one-hour medical drama focusing on a third generation Doctor (Isabel (Isa) Dreck, MD), who must carry her painfully emotional diarrhea with her into clinic each day, where her father (the second generation Dreck aka #2) is the guy in charge. As the series progresses, we see this woman slowly, very slowly transform from total breakdowns at witnessing harrowingly hang nailed children, to (hopefully, fingers crossed, by end of Season 1) steely reserve in the face of ganglion cysts. There will also be hot guys. And actual water-cooler talk. Both possibly occurring simultaneously within a scene - in every single episode. A kind of “House” meets the poor sods in “Intervention.”

...not written by Donna F. Smith